8 Ways to Make Your Home a No-Strife Zone
The devil hates agreement between Christians. The power of agreement opens the windows of heaven in our lives and closes the door to his destruction. That’s why he continually tries to disrupt that agreement by causing strife and division where people come together in the most powerful way: the family.
You don’t have to take it! Here are 8 Ways to Make Your Home a No-Strife Zone.
1. Bite Your Tongue
Did you know? The quickest way to reduce strife in your home is to bite your tongue! That’s right. You don’t have to say everything you think. Your words have a powerful ability to stir up strife in your home. So choose your words wisely.
Consider these verses from the English Standard Version:
• Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble (Proverbs 21:23).
• Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).
• A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
• The tongue is a small member, yet…. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! (James3:5).
• The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent (Exodus 14:14).
It takes humility to be the kind of person who doesn’t have to have the last word. At first, you may have to literally bite your tongue! But you can create a new habit of not answering back to every attack.
Determine today that you want to make your home a no-strife zone far more than you want to have the last word. It won’t be long before people in your home stop picking fights with you because it just won’t work!
2. Recite 1 Corinthians 13 Every Morning
Kenneth Hagin once prescribed this to a married couple who were on the brink of ending their marriage. It completely turned their relationship around!
Write the verses on a 3-by-5 card and place it where you'll see it each day. It takes less than a minute to recite these powerful words, but they WILL transform you. You’ll find yourself paying closer attention to how you respond to challenging situations—and you’ll respond correctly!
3. Declare Your Home a No-Strife Zone
What you declare has significant power to influence your thinking and the atmosphere around you. So make a point of declaring, “We do not have strife in this house.”
By speaking this out loud each day, you’ll plant the seed in your own heart that you’re committed to shutting down strife in your home. You’ll also be putting the devil on notice that his attempts won’t be tolerated.
4. Watch What You’re Watching
Strife is a spirit. It can be driven out of your life or invited to take a seat at the table. One way to avoid offering an unintended invitation is to watch what you’re watching. TV shows, movies and music that promote arguing, criticism, pride or anger will feed the spirit of strife and plant the wrong seeds in the heart of your home. Choose positive and encouraging programming, and if bickering ensues, change the channel.
5. Diffuse Potential Strife Among Other Family Members
While guarding against falling into strife yourself, you also make your home a no-strife zone by setting the tone with the entire family. That means children don’t get to argue with their parents, teenagers don’t get to show disrespect, and if you have parents living with you, strife is off-limits to them, as well. It can feel uncomfortable to confront others about strife. Still, it is necessary, and it usually doesn’t take more than a few times to let people know you mean business!
6. Encourage Healthy Communication
Some people think it is healthy to vent anger and lash out at others—to “let it all out.” You don’t need to pop your top to communicate with others. That’s why it’s essential to encourage healthy communication in your home, as follows:
• Don’t bottle up your feelings or encourage your family members to avoid their feelings as well. If your spouse upsets you, don't hold it in. Let them know right away, lovingly and respectfully. If a family member does something that bothers you, don’t mumble under your breath—talk it out! You’ll be glad you did.
• Allow children a rebuke-free atmosphere to tell you when you’ve hurt their feelings. Then, apologize! It’s so important for parents to own up to their mistakes with their children. It fosters a healthy, safe atmosphere and teaches children good communication skills.
• Speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, be gentle and show perfect courtesy toward all people (Titus 3:2). That means if you don’t want strife in your home, don’t speak unkindly about others around the dinner table or anywhere else in your home. Resist the urge to criticize a neighbor, teachers or even the drivers on the road.
7. Repent Quickly. Forgive Quickly.
If you can’t admit when you’re wrong, you’re going to struggle in your relationships. Taking personal responsibility for a harsh word spoken, a critical spirit or a false assumption is essential to keeping your home a no-strife zone. You don’t need to be right all the time. In fact, it’s damaging to insist upon it.
When you’ve hurt someone else—even if you don’t feel like you’ve done anything wrong—apologize. Take responsibility. Repent quickly. Humility doesn’t always think it’s without blame.
And when someone apologizes to you, don't take it as an opportunity to rehearse all the reasons why what they did was wrong. They already know! Be humble and kind. Forgive immediately and mean it!
8. Deal with Wrong Spirits
There was a couple who rarely argued. This couple had worked hard to develop a no-strife zone in their home, and it paid off! But something interesting happened every time a certain couple visited their home. This couple, who were relatives, always argued and had a strife-filled relationship and home. Whenever they came to visit, they brought their troubles with them. Then when they left, the hosting couple found that they were suddenly fighting and arguing themselves. One day, the Lord revealed to them that a spirit of strife had entered their home.
It’s a good idea to be mindful of whom you allow into your home, but if you find yourself with guests who bring unwanted spirits in your home, be quick to drive those spirits out! Take authority in the Name of Jesus, and command all unclean spirits to leave.
When you use these nine ways to make your home a no-strike zone, you’ll be well on your way to living a peaceful, strife-free life. Who doesn’t want that?! You can get to the place in your life where critical words, arguing and grudges simply don’t occur in your home. You can have the kind of home filled with love that everyone dreams about!
Watch Kenneth and Gloria Copeland teach you why walking in love always reaps a reward.