A Loving Relationship Begins With Understanding God’s Love

Remember the old song: “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms”?

It’s a silly childhood song, but it touches on something very real. Deep down, we all want to be in loving relationships. However, we don’t always know how to receive or give love, because real love is based on a loving relationship with a loving God.

The foundation for showing and receiving love to yourself and others stems from understanding and receiving God's love for you.

We Love Because God First Loved Us

Accepting God’s offer of love is your first step toward knowing, receiving and giving real love.

God’s love for you isn’t distant, theoretical or conditional. He is so invested in loving you that in your state of unworthiness, God sent His only Son, Jesus, to be sacrificed in your place and make you acceptable to Him. If you had been the only person who needed forgiveness, Jesus still would have done it—all because of a loving relationship that started with Him.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 
(Romans 8:38–39)

For many people, this is the hardest kind of love to receive.

No matter how many times the preacher stands in the pulpit and tells us, “God loves you,” we are often so immersed in self-doubt and uncertainty that we can’t really believe it’s true.

But it is true! God already knows you completely and loves you deeply.

God’s love is not like the love people give each other. A person’s love is dependent on emotions and human expectations. God’s not like that. He is kind and gentle as He directs you toward Himself. The love of God never ends. If receiving God’s love feels difficult, start small. Begin by simply saying this each day: “I am loved by God.”

Not because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what you can offer.
But because that’s Who God is.

God’s love is steady and patient and never fails. He wants to bless you, strengthen you and walk with you every day. But what can you do to love Him? A loving relationship is about giving and receiving. That’s how the Lord created love to exist between people.

Spend time with Him and listen as He speaks to you. Be obedient, even in little things. Show God honor and respect. Read His Word and allow His Holy Spirit to reveal and explain it to you.

God is always available to you, so make yourself available to Him.

How To Give Love to Others

Jesus made it evident how important love is in our relationships: “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other” (John 13:34).

Whether you’re thinking about loving relationships with family, friends or a potential spouse, love grows best when it’s both freely given and openly received. Love is usually expressed in two simple but powerful ways: through our words and through our actions.

Your words have immense power to influence others. What you say to someone can make a difference. A person may come back to you days or even years later with strong feelings and memories about what you said. A hurtful statement, even if it’s said unwittingly, can have a lasting impact. In situations like that, the power of a phrase as simple as “Please forgive me” cannot be overstated. It has the potential to reignite trust and love faster than anything else.

Actions are tangible ways to express yourself and give love. A smile, a touch or a gift can have a lasting influence and give credence to the future of your loving relationship.

Here are some practical, heartfelt ways to give love to others:

• Give of yourself sincerely. People can sense when love is genuine.
• Demonstrate that you are trustworthy and that you’ll be there when they need you.
• Smile and respond with warmth and joy. Let others know you’re glad to see or hear from them.
• Show love by giving them your full attention—listen actively and remember what matters to them.
• Be thoughtful about the needs of those you love.
• Choose to think good things about them.
• Be sensitive to their schedules and moods before requesting their time.
• Pray for them regularly and sincerely.

How To Receive Love From Others

Most people want to give love, yet many don’t feel loved. Past hurts, disappointments or unhealthy relationships can subtly lead someone to believe that love isn’t safe or that they don’t deserve it.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

Receiving love often requires a gentle shift in how we think about ourselves and others. It means allowing yourself to be seen, valued and cared for even when it feels uncomfortable.

Here are a few ways to begin opening your heart to receive love:

• Open your heart to receive what others offer, whether through words or actions.
• Choose to believe the best about people’s intentions.
• Receive their attention at the level they are willing to give it.
• Consider their advice and insights with an open heart.
• Refuse offense in all forms.
• Make time to be with others, even when life feels busy.
• Expect their words to come from a place of love, not harm.

Encouragement Moving Forward In a Loving Relationship

Make the choice—on purpose—to give time and attention to others to show your love for them. And on purpose receive their time and attention as they express their love for you. 

Most of all, open your heart and decide to receive God’s everlasting, unfailing love for you by making Jesus your Savior and Lord. This is the first genuine and loving relationship any of us should experience.

You don’t have to believe the lie that nobody cares. You don’t have to “go eat worms.”
You are loved by God—fully, faithfully and forever. And as you grow in that truth, you’ll find a new, healthier way of both giving and receiving love to and from Him and others.

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