“Husbands…[give] honor to the wife.” –1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)

“Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” –Ephesians 5:33 (ESV)

It can be difficult to deal with a spouse who is unloving. You want them to change first, and you certainly don’t feel like showing honor and love to someone so unlovable! 

However…

In John 13:34, Jesus commanded us to “love each other.” He wasn’t commanding us to have a feeling. He was commanding us to make the right CHOICE. 

Of how love looks, Kenneth Copeland says, “You don’t just turn on and off the look of Love. You have to practice Love. And you don’t wait until somebody is ugly to you before you practice the Love of God. You practice the Love of God by first loving Him, and then when somebody does do something less than sweet to you, you’ll already be loving God, so loving them is just an offshoot.”

Your spouse may not be good at showing honor, but you can change his or her heart one act of biblical honor at a time. Do you show honor to your husband or your wife? Honor doesn’t belittle or criticize. Honor builds up and doesn’t tear down. To show honor to your spouse is to be his or her biggest fan. It’s a husband who puts his wife before himself in everything. It’s a wife who doesn’t speak disrespectfully and who shows admiration for his good qualities. 

It may not happen overnight, but your showing honor and love (and refusing to participate in the fights!) will slowly change the heart of an unloving spouse. Keep praying for your spouse. The lack of kindness toward you is likely from a past hurt in his or her life that needs the healing power of Jesus.